Hot… Hot… So Hot…

My final test has finished. From day to a day, I felt tbhat there’s a feeling that always be around me, it’s the hot feeling.

Here the stories:

Wednesday, 14 May 2008, I went for a Penance after the morning mass. Father Kristo gave it. In the confession box, when I said my sins, I felt a warm feeling flowing from my head to my neck. And as I said my sins more, I became warmer, hotter. So, because I felt it was too hot, I decided to end talking my sin there, I was not concentrate to what I will say, It was really hot!

And when Father Kristo talked for absolution, it was still hot. So, I finished my Penance. I prayed, I thanked God for the amnesty, and the hot feeling stop. Then, I went out from the church, going home, I met Father Kristo, and I asked him whether he felt the hot feeling too. You know what he said? He said had he had turned on the air conditioner inside! Aarrgh!

Next days, during the final test. I sat in a room which has windows facing outside the school and sunlight can enter the room from the window. And I sat right in front of the window! The sunlight stroke me around 8 am until 9 am, and I was burnt there! I was hot. I remember the hot feeling I had in the confession box and I said to God, hope this sun stroke is a way that showed You blessed me in my final test, haha!

And on a day during the final test, the light out. So, it absolutely felt hot, sweat. I remember again the confession experience. And during the days, as the effect of global warming, everybody felt hot. Haha!

In the Old Testament, hot always represents an angry heart. In New Testament, hot or fire represents Holy Spirit. But in baking, hot means fresh.

Sometimes we read, ‘fresh from oven’ label on the bread, and we can believe that it’s fresh from oven with touching it and feel that it’s hot. Hot represents ‘new’ here. So, I believe, the hot feeling in my Penance is a symbol that God renewed me as fresh baked spirit to face the final test with Holy Spirit’ guide. Amen!

I truly believe that this semester’s final test is the most blessed one, with the anointing of Holy Spirit, I believe, I’ll get good enough score, as a tiny worship for Him.

Thanks God

Team's Retreat

Saturday-Sunday, 19-20 April 2008

Though I had to follow the retreat not from the beginning, I got some confirmation how I must serve my Lord.

Honestly, I thought that this retreat must be a great one, all of my serving friends in Prayer Meeting attended it and they all seemed so happy when I arrived there.

So, I try to ask mercy to God for giving me that happiness I had missed. So, I tried to recall why I wanted to serve Him (because that what I thought my other friends got from the previous session I had missed).

So, I recalled, recalled, and recalled, I arrived to a Chapel on the fourth floor in SMA Budi Mulia building, on the last prayer meeting I had in my junior high school.

It was the last meeting, I gathered with my non-Catholic friends in the prayer group, which we had prayed together for 3 years. I was really sad, so sad, that it was the last because I would graduated from the junior high and would move to a new school, which I dreamt since I was in the kindergarten.

I prayed, I wrestled in prayer to God, “God, plis, don’t let this be the last, I don’t want my relation with You ended here. Please send a teacher who will gathered us to pray in my senior high school, please make a group to pray together like this in my senior high school. I don’t want this end here, I don’t want this stop just like this, I want to love You till I’m old, I want to love You till my hair turned white.”

The last sentence was come from the core of my heart. Really. So, go back to the retreat. I remember those sentences, I knew why I was there on that day. I knew.

And through the sessions, I knew more how to serve Him well, I knew the right way and what will happen to me if I serve Him. It’s not easy to serve Him, it need struggle, wew!

And on the night, I got a prophecy from Ika. She said that God said to me to be more patient about my parents and the most shocking is she said that, “Tuhan ingin memakai kamu dengan luar biasa.”

Well, I wanted to laugh but I also believed He will. I had prayed for that. I had prayed since I was in my junior high school that I will not be His ordinary child, but I want to love Him and to be His extra-ordinary child.

Then, I asked for the record from the sessions I left. And I like the session which talked about the saints. Saint… that’s what I wanna be! All saints, didn’t ask for the Holy Spirit’s Gifts, they asked for mercy of God that they could be less and god became larger in them. A scripture-based prayer, haha… because I want to be a saint, I will try those! So, lately, I just asked for humbleness in my heart. Hehe..

Then, I tried the Holy Spirit Gift which often given and needed in a Prayer Meeting, a gift of speaking God’s message, that’s what Paul said for the Corinthians. We divided into groups, we prayed for one of the friends, we took turns.

For some message I got, my friends said it was true, well, halleluiah, thanks God. One thing, I learnt, to hear God’s message for a friend, doesn’t depend on what you feel (I felt so dry and tired and lonely not in the full charge), it depends on God’s mercy, just said what you got or you’ll never know whether it’s true or not.

Well, those just a little experience I got in the team’s retreat .

Thanks God for all.